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Well good evening, here is the first blog of 2015, I think it’s time I treated the world to a James Churchill Ellis random rambling. A lot has happened since I last posted on here, the biggest thing being, I am now a married man! Also since my last random rambling I have finally been diagnosed with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder). I shall keep you in suspense no longer as I have formally announced I am writing a book which will be titled Lauren. This is my first experiment in writing a book and to the wonderfully vile teacher who told me at primary school that I would amount to nothing in this life I hereby award you with the crafty two fingered salute. Anybody who knows me personally will know about Lauren. Lauren is my younger sister who was in a horrific accident back in 2006. In my book I hope to take the reader through an emotional journey, telling my story as her big brother and her only other sibling. The main reason for writing this book is mostly to allow the world to see how tragedy affects not only the parents or even that child’s friends but their siblings. I believe you rarely get to see the effects of such a life changing event from a sibling’s perspective. Also it’s a way of telling my sister the words that we find in life so hard to express, I love you! So I leave you with bated breath for the release of the finished book which I aim to complete in early 2016.
Also in this random rambling I have got something for everybody from I’m a celebrity to Premier league football with a hint of teaching and to finish pie, no not pudding but the mathematical version, Pi.
Okay this year I have been subjected to watching not only strictly come dancing but I’m a celebrity get me out of here! I commonly refer to these programs as “the croc of shite on my TV” however somehow I get distracted from my procrastination and end up watching. I finally understand the expression car crash television as Lady C is horrific to watch, you know what’s about to happen but you can’t keep your eyes off the TV. I actually feel as though I am there in the jungle feeling the awkward atmosphere before the lorry comes crashing through wreaking havoc and destruction, one may say that that is how most Aston Villa fans feel when watching the opposition team score another goal to sink Aston Villa and in doing so equal or probably break another unwanted league record. Please don’t believe that Aston Villa are anywhere near as horrific and grim as Lady C, for somebody who has experienced inequality, bullying and downright nastiness throughout her life it’s sad to see she has now become the figure she so despised growing up. Especially calling people dumb and a pussy, eloquently shows how not to use the English language or even live up to the title of ‘lady’. Not to be a hypocrite, I certainly don’t confess to be able to eloquently use the English language and for sure I have a repertoire of words that in some parts of the world could get you in big trouble! Even I can’t believe I have successfully intertwined the subject of Lady C with Aston Villa.
It’s times like this I really do think that I must be missing something when I talk about Aston Villa and their novel avoidance of putting the ball in the back of the oppositions net and failing to stop the opposition from putting the said ball into the back of our net. To work out the meaning of life is not a patch on trying to work out the meaning of Aston Villa’s appalling form in the Premier league. I will always get behind the manager even when I believe that said manager was the wrong appointment and Aston Villa sacked Tim Sherwood too late. I loved Tim Sherwood I thought he was a breath of fresh air through Villa Park and had brought long lost enthusiasm that hasn’t been seen since Martin O’Neill graced the dugout. Please somebody explain to me how we have not managed more than one win in this season. I will dispute that our attack doesn’t seem to be the problem, the problem seems to be the lack of enthusiasm and belief that we can actually win in the Premier league. If you look at the statistics which is where I will argue with you that statistics mean nothing in regards to “no other team in the Premier league that have had the same record as Aston Villa at this specific point in the season has ever stayed in the top-flight of English football”. I read a particularly interesting article uses statistics to actually show that our strikers are actually scoring goals from the majority of chances created from midfield. However there is still half a season left and also the impending opening of the January transfer window, where I am banking on Randy Lerner breaking the bank in bringing in an additional striker, goalkeeper and leader. We need a striker who can lead the way and bang in 20+ goals in the second half of the season with goals also coming from the other strikers and midfield. A better goalkeeper than Guzan. (I need to highlight here that I think use and is a quality keeper and has done more than his share in keeping us in games or even winning us games in the past.) He needs competition because I firmly believe that he knows there is nobody better than him in the Aston Villa squad and he is guaranteed a place in the starting 11. Lastly Aston Villa needs a leader someone who can drive, inspire, galvanise, motivate and lead through example (like any good teacher) so when the chips are down and we are losing 2-0 we have our leader screaming and shouting, motivating and getting forward, and maybe we may have half a chance of staying in the most coveted league in the world.
For all you anxiety sufferers in teaching out there, how do you approach the thought of a learner disliking you? For the first time in my teaching career I have finally come across a learner who I believe genuinely dislikes me and thinks my teaching is irrelevant. As an anxiety sufferer I cannot help but take this thought to heart, and also my anxiety will not allow the thought to stop whirring around my head. I’m going to answer my own question here because there will always be people in this world who don’t like you for whatever reason but I must say it is intensely difficult not to be hurt by such a thought. Over time since suffering with anxiety and depression one thing that I must remind myself of is, we are human and we are primarily driven by emotions. When you look at our lives the majority of the decisions we make are emotionally based and emotionally driven, whether it be selfish emotions or UN - selfish emotions, however emotions will always rule our minds. I would love to meet the people who were able to successfully contain their emotions when making decisions in life, from the mundane to the high profile, success or failure, win or lose and to live or to die. I would tentatively say us humans are built up of 45% water, 50% emotion and 5% (sugar, spice &) everything nice. To liken this to chocolate don’t beat yourself up for eating the delicious nutty Snickers treat, because we are all human and it’s okay to want to eat the delicious nutty Snickers treat, just like it’s okay to feel upset about somebody not liking you. However it’s not okay to want to eat 15 in one go or obsess over that thought for more time than necessary, don’t be afraid to tell yourself “I think I may need help.” In the world we live in today mental health issues are rife yet we still believe that mental health sufferers can just pull themselves together, I will leave you with this, imagine a really big heavy box full of bricks, imagine you need that box moving, so you ask the person with the broken arm that is in a plaster cast and sling to pick up this box and move it to a different place in the room. They must pick it up they can’t just push it across the room. Guessed it already? It would be nearly impossible for that person to complete that task because you can see that his arm is broken. With a mental health sufferer that is so scared to leave their house and can’t tell you why and they physically can’t move. You say “go to work, it’s okay you’ve only got to go outside, pull yourself together, it’s not like you’ve got a move a heavy box full of bricks with a broken arm!”
Please feel for me tomorrow as I will be assisting with learners in the teaching of pie so I am now going to record an example of Pi which will consist of one cherry pie and one jug of custard minus a guilty conscience times by 3.14. I may not have a mind left to ramble with tomorrow.
On that note I bring to an end this mighty rambling, I’m sure there is more my mind has thought about like why easy when you set out 20 minutes earlier then you usually do to get to work, and you arrive at work 20 minutes later than what you would do if you do set out for work at the usual time how can there be possibly more traffic 20 minutes earlier? Aston Villa’s current form and the meaning of life isn’t a patch on that conundrum.
“Good night out there, whatever you are?”
